April Fools (ish)

Hello, all, I am back, with another monthly review of what I have watched and read in the month of April. April was a whole heck of a roller coaster. I went to Chengdu with a friend for a week literally right before AP exams, something I wouldn’t have been able to even think of doing the past four years, and got my final college decision there. I also got COVID (again) two days ago, and have spent every single minute of this time watching Barbie, Life in the Dreamhouse, when I should be studying for APs. So I won’t lie, April has been pretty eventful. But now, onto the real meat of this piece: my reviews.

Let’s start with the pitiful amount of books I’ve read. In other words: one book. And guess which one? You probably wouldn’t have guessed it, so I’ll tell you. Jane Eyre! Be warned: there will be spoilers.

April 24th, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

I read this book on the airplane rides to and from Chengdu. The ride there, I disliked the book. I dislike having a lot of set up (and yes, I understand that is mostly for the end of the story, but still), and Jane Eyre is a whopping 600 pages. So I read through the seemingly endless amount of Jane Eyre telling us about how hard her life was, which was kind of interesting, and preaching about her ideas of God. I get it. The writing is old, and clearly I can’t expect any of the Brontë sisters to write like, I don’t know, Rick Riordan. They’re from different eras.

But yes, the beginning of Jane Eyre was very slow to me. There were a few good lines that I loved for the way the prose wrote itself, like this: “I seemed to hear a hiss, and the green snake of jealousy, rising on undulating coils from the moonlit balcony, glided within my waistcoat, and ate its way in two minutes to my heart’s core.”

And of course, the famous, “‘we stood at God’s feet, equal– as we are!’” speech, which is honestly really moving and astonishing to read. It’s just such a heartfelt and passionate monologue declaring Jane’s importance as a person, and really, this speech alone made me glad I read this book, even if I didn’t really like the first half of the story.

And then, on the plane ride back home from Chengdu (which is a very good place for shopping and eating, by the way), I read the second half of the book, and boy was I wrong about the book. I thought I would give the book 2, maybe 3 stars, just because I get the historical and feminist significance of Jane Eyre, but I personally didn’t see the appeal. And then I got to the second half of the book, and wow. Just, wow.

This line? “I laughed at him as he said this. ‘I am not an angel,’ I asserted; ‘And I will no be one till I die: I will be myself.’”

And this line, when Jane has to make a choice to either be Mr. Rochester’s lover (because he has a wife already), or leave him and what feels like her heart behind, she is full of self-doubt. She asks herself, who will love her, who will care for her, if she doesn’t stay the man she loves.

This is her answer: “Still more indomitable was the reply: ‘I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.’”

The sheer audacity Charlotte Brontë had to be writing this in the nineteenth century? This is the same time in which she had to publish her books under a male pseudonym to be able to be published and respected as an author. And considering writing has always been the one job women could more respectfully pursue, that’s saying something. And then Charlotte Brontë goes and writes this? I’m shook. Genuinely shook.

So I take back what I said about 2 or 3 stars. Clearly, I was delusional during the beginning, while I was reading the book. Because this? This is five stars. Five all the way. I am now one of those annoying literature girls who goes around telling everyone to read Jane Eyre.

I did start like five books this month, so I’ll probably have more books to write about in May, but that’s about it for book reviews. Next, let’s do TV shows, since I only watched one. April 8th, Schmigadoon! (2021)

This is basically a show that has two characters, played by Cecily Strong and Michael Keaton, enter a musical world in which the characters are all literally part of the musical that is modeled after Brigadoon!. They try to get out of the world, but find that the can only leave with their one true love, and so the story unfolds.

I loved this? It was just… So camp? It was made for people like me, who are both fans of SNL (Cecily I love you), musicals, and TV shows, so essentially, I was just having a blast the entire time. And the entire season is essentially three hours long (there are six episodes in this season, and each episode is around 20 minutes long), so this was basically the investment of watching Avatar 2: The Way of Water, except this one had more actual character building.

I also loved Dove Cameron in this. Basically, if you’re into musicals, TV shows, fun little comedies, then this is the show for you.

Oh, and I won’t spoil it, but for my gay readers out there, there’s a gay subplot hidden somewhere in here, and the cast is absolutely stellar. Go watch!

Now, movies!

1. April 18th, Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)

I watched this because one of my favorite BookTubers is a huge fan of the movie, and she gushes about it in her videos often, so I thought, why not? It’s a classic Studio Ghibli film, and I’ve heard great things about it.

I watched it. According to IMDb, here’s the summary: “When an unconfident young woman is cursed with an old body by a spiteful witch, her only chance of breaking the spell lies with a self-indulgent yet insecure young wizard and his companions in his legged, walking castle.”

This summary sucks. But overall, the film is about Sophie and Howl, and it’s supposed to be a love story, which I honestly didn’t get much from the vibe of the two characters, but whatever.

It was fine. That’s all I really have to say about it. I mean, I can see why people loved it: it’s got beautiful animation, the score is stunning, and I can see the story have some type of significance to people. But to me, controversial opinion again (although I did already almost say that I didn’t like Jane Eyre, so controversial is practically my middle name at this point), this film was overhyped. I just didn’t see the reason it is hailed as one of the best animation films of all time by some people. I just didn’t get it.

And honestly? There were some parts that I found confusing. For one, isn’t Sophie an old lady now? Does she stay one the entire time? And why is she just so calm about getting turned into an old lady? I mean, if I woke up one day and realized that I was basically at the end of my life without having done anything at all yet with my life, I’d be pissed off. Like, really, really mad. She’s just so calm about it. I love that her old age never hinders her, and in fact gives her a lot of freedom (she actually seems to enjoy being old, and I love the representation we have for old people), but

So Howl’s Moving Castle? Ten out of ten name. Maybe five out of ten actual movie. That’s a little harsh; let’s say about seven out of ten.

1. April 20th, Charming (2018)

I watched this in Chengdu because the cast includes Avril Lavigne, who is my friend’s idol. So I walked into this film knowing nothing about it except that Avril Lavigne played Snow White.

And honestly? This film was so boring I can’t remember what it was about. Actually, I remember the general gist. But here’s what IMDb has to say about it:

“Three fairy tale princesses find themselves engaged to the same guy, Prince Charming.” And that’s about all there is to say about it. In terms of it being a fairy tale, I can see how the story was supposed to go: it’s a feminist retelling of old True Love stories, with the girl saving the boy and them going through a bunch of different obstacles only to realize they love each other. For a kid, this might be fun to watch, and you know what, it’s a kids movie. The one thing I have to say is that it is a film that rests on heterosexuality, especially the part where Charming’s charm only works on women. It would have been a really cool twist if in the end, he falls in love with a man because he doesn’t want someone who throws themselves at him, but that’s not about to happen with a low budget animation movie that studios clearly think barely has an audience to begin with.

So if you’re an adult, stay away, because you will certainly find this movie stupid and difficult to continue except for the laughs and the soundtrack (the song the princesses sing about Charming is still stuck in my head, so good job to the movie for that).

But it’s a kids film, and honestly, the bit where Charming was willing to sacrifice himself to ensure True Love remained for his people is a bold move that not all children’s films would be willing to take to raise the stakes.

1.5 stars for adults. For kids: go have fun, you little buggers. And finally, I watched one (YAY ONE) musical this month. I basically went online and found a recording of one of the performances of Elisabeth by the original cast, so obviously, I had to watch it immediately.

And I loved it. I am obsessed with the prologue, when all the characters are singing about Elisabeth and her relationship with death. I’m also obsessed with the way that the story literally makes Death a prominent character, and Elisabeth is its lover. That’s beautiful. The metaphor there? With the kiss of Death meaning her finally succumbing to her suicidal instincts? That’s stunning. I was in awe by the production, and I am obsessed with the music here.

And that’s it for April! Thanks for sticking around; I know this is coming out more towards June than April, so thank you for waiting. I was busy with APs and things, but now I’m back.

Happy Tuesday!!